It is Christmas Day and here I am cruising through Facebook wondering who else is either avoiding something or is so bored that they have nothing better to do on Christmas morning other than be on the internet. Scary. But as I am perusing the little comics and anecdotes, I run across a few sentences that just kick me right in the gut and I just need to vent it.
"Enjoy these crazy, busy, hectic times, for someday you will be missing those exact moments."
Seems like a harmless enough sentence for those that have not had to endure any loss. But for those of us who have had some sort of life-changing event take place, this hits harder than a punch to the gut.
Memories are strong around the holidays and we remember so many instances where we may have been frustrated or angered with family. (It usually is family who gets the brunt end of of our bad attitudes.) The tension arise with unfulfilled expectations, poor decisions, and the angst of all the family being in such close proximity for such long periods of time. By the time the holidays are over, we lay in bed and wonder how we "missed" it and we vow to do things differently, better, the next year. Inevitably they do not change much.
I can recount so many holidays where my children moaned and groaned about trying to fulfill some tradition that I deemed important. The tree must be erected on a certain day and certain people were to have the "privilege" of decorating the home with me. Candlelight service was to be attended in our Christmas finery. Pajamas were to be opened on Christmas Ever and we MUST watch "It's a Wonderful Life." Midst the moaning, however, there were a few laughs and smiles. The tree eventually was decorated and the children complained the entire month that is was up, anticipating the dreaded day when all of their work would be undone. I would end up taking everything down while they were not there and "surprising" them with a normal surrounding once more. Of course I was moaning and complaining the entire time because I got no help.
Then there were the endless dashed hopes and wishes of the day after Christmas. The gifts were acknowledged and set aside. The boxes and paper had been disposed of and the together time had become stifling. All the rush of the preparations, the adrenaline of the times, dissipated in less than twenty-four hours. Promises to scale down and appreciate the family more next year fade by the end of October when the stores are once again filled with enticing ways of distracting us.
All of this pricks my heart as I no longer have that. All of the frustration I once felt turned into regret of never experiencing those crazy, busy, hectic times. Sure I see the decorations in the stores and I do have my new family, but it isn't the same. The dynamics have changed. The players have changed in this season of life. But I haven't changed.
I want to leave all of you with a few thoughts.
You may never be able to go through a stress-free Christmas. You may not have a family who will wake up one day and be the spitting image of a Rockwell-ian painting. You may go through some terrible crises as a family around the holidays. But the fact still remains that you NEVER can predict when those family member, those dear friends, those loved ones who continued "tradition" no matter how troublesome the moments were, will not be there. Life happens. Circumstances change. Divorce, Disease. Death. They are game-changers. We need to forever keep that thought in the forefront of our minds in order to appreciate even the tough times we face.
